Wow! Yesterday I was at the lowest I had been for a long time. I was mad at the world and sad at the same time. It was so bad I scared myself!
It didn’t help that Ryan wasn’t doing well either. I could tell he wasn’t so angry but he was showing physical signs: break outs on skin, myoclonic jerks, etc.
We both did what we could to get back on track. We worked out. We vented to each other. I texted in anger with my best friend I posted on Facebook about it. I tried to work, play with our son, get housework done. All to take my mind off of things
Yet at the end of the day Ryan fell asleep with a rescue med in his system and I was still wondering if I could shake this depression.
And overnight it happened…we got a fundraising donation…we had friends inviting countless people to join our fight to raise epilepsy awareness…we had strangers sharing our story and need for help.
I woke up this morning seeing all the love and support. I woke up in a better mood overall. Of course I still have the fear that Ryan will wake up to more seizures and jerks but I have that fear every day.
Our good friends who run Transplant Warriors just this morning reposted from Power of Positivity the words that describe me best this weekend
Thank you to all of my Friends and family, including my Facebook friends and family for all you have done to get me through this. Whether or not you realized you were helping or should be helping, you did.
Today may be a struggle later depending on what the day and Epilepsy brings. For now I will hope for a seizure free day, straighten out my crown, and keep moving.
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