Never Quit

I had intended this morning to write about SUDEP (Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy) because it is something I fear every night, or should I say every morning. However, that subject, although a very important one, has to wait.

Like every day living with someone with epilepsy, today will not be how I envisioned when I woke up this morning. I’m sure later today will not be as I expect it to be now. So all I can do is roll with the events of the day and never quit.

Today I woke up to a dark room and Ryan still sleeping, when usually lights are on and Ryan is working out or on his way to work out. I started getting ready for work and gave a sigh of relief when Ryan started to stir in the bed (hence the SUDEP talk).

Even though he was awake, Ryan looked rather out of sorts the rest of the morning. Feeling the same way he looked, he made the decision to stay home from work. I, on the other hand, made the decision to go to work. We never know when a seizure can happen or if it would happen so off I went.

I won’t say I made the wrong decision but I would say Ryan made the right decision. A few hours into my work day, I get the message from Ryan he has been having myoclonic jerks and possible absence seizures. With the rescue med in his system, I come home. Again I breath a sigh of relief when I find Ryan in bed, safe, and sound.

As I said, this is not the day we thought it would be. All we can do is look at the good in our lives and keep going in the new direction the day is heading. The wind may turn again such that the day gets back on track. If for some reason it doesn’t that doesn’t mean we won’t stop living life and doing what needs to be done.